So, a close friend of mine will soon (eventually?) be joining the ranks of NOIZ! I like to call him Pessie, though his proper pen name is "The Perfect Pessimist" and soon his pessimism will infect you all! It's contageous, yanno. Anyway, I'm outta here!
So, Hey! I've just decided that on your arrival to senior year, you should be issued a cattle prod! Or a low powered tazer... Something like that, yanno? Why, i hear you ask, would you need a tazer in school? To clear the fuckin' halls! I'm sick of all the slow-mos clogging up the halls. All the kids stopping and talking in the MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING HALL, what the fuck is that? So, to alleviate the problem I'm going to follow the American way and turn to violence. Tell me an electrical shock won't get those shit-heads going. And there WOULD be regulations, of course. No abusing this power, if you're caught abusing it then not only will your prodding powers be revoked, you'll have to face a "Walk of Pain" where all those you abused have cattle prods, and you have to walk slowly down the hall as they shock you. So fun!
Yeah, I know, it's violent, and slightly cruel, but hey it's good enough for cows, right? And high schoolers ARE basically mindless cattle, right? Just taking the final step, yanno?